Learn How To Master The Art
Of
Self Defense
Against Psychic Attacks
Terms of Use
Our lawyers made us include it and made us use a precious
button on our home page to get you here. At first, we thought
the lawyers were a real pain. But then we read the page. What a
Netwakening! It's really important stuff. We took the legalese
the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable English. So
be a smart nethead and read the stuff on this page. It could
prevent you from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from
really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you (and people you like)
can use it for personal entertainment, information, education,
communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse
around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site
but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though,
don't fool around with the copyright and other notices all over
the stuff. They're there for a really good reason. And don't
even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting,
reusing, re-posting, or anything else un-cool with any of the
stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video, for public
or commercial purposes unless we give you written permission.
And it's not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to the
terms and conditions listed below and any other law or
regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, the World
Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't access or browse
the site if you have any problem with that, because once you
start, there's no turning back -- you are bound by [read: stuck
with] the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Eleven Rules for Cybersurfers
who hang out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on the site
is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't use the
stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else
on the site without our written permission. And like we said
before, it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In
fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any
deal anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we're
not promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not promising
you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff
on the site, you're using it at your own risk. Don't call us if
there's a problem because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or
deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when
you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that
our disclaimer includes "direct, incidental, consequential,
indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or
use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on
the site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY
KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED
TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion
of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not
apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or
limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. Ugh!
What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in
quotes because we couldn't figure out any other way to say it
that the lawyers would accept. But here's the bottom line --
we're not responsible if you're browsing around and the site
damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty
viruses. We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does,
don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to know something, don't post in
on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That's
because anything you disclose to us is ours. That's right --
ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff you post. We
can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it,
broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it
to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that,
we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques
you post any way we want to, including, developing,
manufacturing and marketing products or other stuff using the
information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either
our property or someone else's property we're using with their
permission. No matter what, it's definitely not your property.
You or any of your net-friends can't use it unless we said you
could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess
what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because
unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart,
keep the stuff you download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks
on the site that either we own or we're using with someone
else's permission. So don't think you have any kind of license
or right to use them, because you don't and we're not about to
give you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess with our
trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we'll probably
go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other
trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that we're
likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for
messing around with our property or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've linked our site to lots of
others. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all
those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see
what's going on. So don't blame us if some site you link to is
bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead
and link, but remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we
occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at the posting
in our discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we take no
responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those
locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander,
omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you
might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And
don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful,
threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous,
inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or
any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal
offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that
matter violate any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we certainly
respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate
with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask
us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this Site is protected by all sorts
of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that, you can't download or
send the software to anyone in the vacation travel spots of
Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other
country where United States has embargoed goods; or (get this)
to anyone on the United States Treasury Department's list of
Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce Department's
Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps
List (just kidding on the last one). As if that were not tough
enough, if you live in or are a national of any of those lovely
places, you're not even supposed to be reading this page, so
beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this page and anything else on
the site any time we want to. That's because it's ours and we
have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page,
then you're bound by those changes, too, whenever you visit our
site.
11. If either of us wants to make something of it and wants to
"sue" (a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of
engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened to
violate www.Psychic-Attacks.com
with K Amber and/or its affiliates' intellectual property
rights, www.Psychic-Attacks.com
with K Amber and/or its affiliates may seek injunctive or
other appropriate relief in any state or federal and you
consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such
courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try
to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator.
Any costs and fees other than attorney fees associated with the
mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory
solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to
binding arbitration, under the rules of the American
Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by
the arbitration may be entered in any court with jurisdiction
to do so.
Self Defense Against Psychic Attacks is the
trademark of www.Psychic-Attacks.com
with K Amber and cannot be used without the written
permission of www.Psychic-Attacks.com
with K Amber.
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